Know Me?

I have been compelled today to write about myself. Now I guess some people would question that I do write about myself all the time, but this is about me as a person and do you (the readers) really know me. I guess this is where I will start.

Do you really know me? Some of you will say yes you do and to those people I hate to say it but I am not so sure than you are entirely correct. I think some of these things my sister may know but I am not totally sure what she knows (she is all knowing and all powerful, as well as my mother.) But here we go.

Did you know that I actually really like listening to the Ambient Music? I do really enjoy the music of Michael Giacchino, and many other ambient music artists. I enjoy Michael's work because it reminds me of Lost which I have such a deep geek like relationship to. (some of these things I will address later.) And I just simply like to enjoy the calmness of things with no words. It brings out the creative side of me that not very many people get to see anymore, or even knew existed.
Did you know that I am a Geek at heart? This is one reason why I am so in love with Austin, he is a geek as well as I. I geek out about things all the time. My friend Nick knows exactly what I mean by geeking out, after all he is the one who coined the term in my life. For those who haven't seen me geek out, it is when I get really excited about something small or a TV show, Movie, Book or Game. A lot of people are going to consider their life as geeking out BUT if you are just "in love" with any of the previously listed that does not mean you are geeking out. You geek out about the smallest shit about that thing and it is a minor obsession and feeling that only select people understand. But I love LOST and that is what I generally geek out about, or Stephen King. These things are my constant. (see I did it right there.)
Did you know I love video games? I know a lot of people hate them and say that they will never let their children have them, BUT I do love video games. I used to play them with my Dad, Opa, Mom, Brothers, and many other family members. Now a lot of people are going to say that I must not have played outside or anything but I loved to be outside, but then there was a place in my heart for Mario and Luigi, and Crash, and the occasional War game with my dad. But I think it helps with family relationships when you can sit down and play a game with your kids.
Did you know that I HATE mouth noises? Now it isn't something I am encouraging people to do to piss me off because I am sure it will and you will not like it, but I cannot stand them. I have a hard time listening to Grillz but Nelly because I can hear their damn mouth noises. It is just a pet peeve, I mean you don't have to eat with your mouth open come on people.
Did you know that I am afraid to make my Nana's recipes? I am afraid to make them because I am worried that I will ruin my memory of what it used to taste like. Nana doesn't cook much anymore, especially some of the things that it would take her all day to cook, and those thing were my childhood. I know that if I made them wrong I wouldn't want to try anything else.
Did you know I LOVE to cook? I love cooking, I used to spend a lot of time in the kitchen with my Nana and my Oma. My dad and I even tried to make a frosting once and we thought it looked nasty but it was actually right! I love cooking because it reminds me of home, I am so far away from the people I truly love and that is the way to take me back home. So don't bitch at me for having to much food or too much shit because that is just what I do okay.
Did you know I love reading the news? I do just because that is the only way I can keep up with what the hell is going on without feeling depressed by listening to newscasters and their biased attitudes and comments. I love reading the News Guard for Lincoln City, and commenting in the Opinion sections. I mean hell I may not be a resident but I was for so long that I can still tell you how to get around in that city, and how to avoid traffic without even being there.
Did you know I have a photographic memory? I can tell you just about anything about the places I have lived, houses, streets, directions and what not just because I visually took the time making so many memories that I could tell you where the pot belly pig lives in the apartment on HWY 101 on the south side of the mexican restaurant that used to be the KFC which is on the south west side of the Community center in Lincoln City. I remember the crazies shit so don't test me, I WILL remember!
Did you know that I secretly love classic rock music the most? I love listening to classic rock because it is what I grew up on, when I am driving alone and I am tired of listening to the radio stations we usually listen to I put on the 96.9 channel and listen to the music that we used to play while camping or in the house in general. Every one else thinks it is weird but I love it!
Did you know that my second favorite music is Blue Grass? Yes that is right, blue grass. I love it. I used to listen to it with my grandpa, and the 40 funky hits on the record player, playing in the play room while we painted my doll house blue. It is something that a lot of people don't want to listen to but I do.
Did you know that I like stupid movies? What most people consider stupid I love. I love Donnie Darko, and Darkness Falls, Austin Powers, and all those straight to DVD movies. They are the most entertaining for me. They are weird and dumb and for some reason it appeals to me, so don't tell me how much you hate things because that may not be what I agree with.
Did you know that I broke my fingers? I broke my middle finger's nuckles on my left hand when I was a kid. I smashed them under a bowling ball when they redid the lanes back home. Then a week later I broke my thumb on the same hand in the car in the parking lot of the Price 'N Pride.
Did you know that I am obsessed with Bowling? It is a sport don't even give me that bullshit, that is another can of worms you don't want to open. I love bowling, there is nothing better than rolling a ball down lanes and hearing the crack of the pins as they come crashing down. There is so much technique and so much thought that goes into it that I just don't know how to explain it. And I hate the pro bowler who bowls with two hands, that shit is bullshit right there. When I was in tournaments that shit wasn't legal.
Did you know that I hate pro athletes? Okay there are some exceptions BUT I hate how much they get paid. My brothers are in the military and serve our country but they don't get paid as much as people who throw a ball to people for fun! It is stupid and it is something I do not agree with, they are just distracting us from what is really going on! Now this is not meant to piss Austin off because I know he loves football, but he also knows I love my brothers.
Did you know that I am scared? I am scared, constantly. I am scared simply because I know there is going to be a moment in my life where things come crashing down. Whether it be losing a family member or something of that magnitude but I know it is eventually going to happen.
Did you know that I do what I do because of the Dollars? My Nana and Papa Dollar are and were everything that makes me want to be a social worker, the way my Papa's social worker was so sweet, and the way my Nana talked about my moms bitch of a social worker was enough to seal the deal. They were and still are a big influence in my life and I know Papa would be proud of what I am. And I know Nana is too!
Did you know I am a cowgirl at heart? I don't wear my boots or camo all the time, but I am not afraid to get up on a horse that hasn't been trained, hell I have done it numerous times before. I am not afraid to hold a gun, nor am I afraid to shoot that gun. Hell I was taught you don't shoot to wound.
Did you know I will take Austins side? In Boise I will take Austins side over anyone because here he is my constant, he is my life. Yes I love sorority, but Austin came before that and he always will. This will piss people off but guess what, I don't care.
Did you know I don't care what people think? I don't care if you hate what I wear, what I eat, what I do, my tattoos, my piercings, my life choices, my drinking habits (which are nothing to scoff at by the way), my choice in hair color, or make up. I really don't care if you don't like the things about my I listed previously or the things I will continue to list. If you don't like any of it then you should take a step back and think about it.
Did you know I love to write? I love writing, I don't know why but I do. There is something justifying about writing. I don't care if the grammar is bad because most of the time it is meant for me, or people who don't give a damn about my grammar.
Did you know that I love to draw? Not just doodle, or make designs. I love to produce art. I love to draw figures, and people and things. I love to shade with my finger and get pencil all over my fingers. I love using charcoal to draw/sketch, I love using pastels to create beautiful artwork. I love to paint things, I love to color. I love art.
Did you know I love taking walks down memory lane? People consider it living in the past but I love looking back into my life and creating something, whether it be art, or writing about that part of my life because that is what it going to be constant that is what is going to be forever. My memory will not last forever but my art and my writing will last a lot longer than me if kept, and taken care of.
Did you know I almost lost both my parents? I almost lost my mom when I was in 6th grade, because some doctor was an idiot. And that was a rough time in my families life. It was hard and I hated it! Then a couple years later my dad got sick, and I almost lost him if he wouldn't have gone to the hospital. It was rough. It is something I can look back on now and know I was strong. They both were too. Neither of them gave up and now I still have them. I can't imagine planning a wedding without either of them involved.
Did you know I lost my best friend? One of my best friends died when I was a sophomore in high school. We grew apart as school went on but when I was told that he had died it was hard. Him and I used to go camping together and spent a lot of time together playing G.I.Joe and Jane at Beverly Beach. He was taken from us when his truck slammed into a tree on Hwy 18. Some say it was suicide, because there are a lot of circumstances that make it seem that way, and I am not disputing it. I just keep thinking about the time I was with my Dad at Gulluchi's with chelsea and timbre, and we were concerned with someone else who turned out to be someone I cannot frankly stand for the life of me because she is NOT who she used to be, but I saw him and I talked to him but I was more concerned with someone else than him, and that was the last time I saw him.
Did you know I hate Silence? I hate being in the sheer silence. I have always hated it. I like noise. People hate noise but not me. I mean yes there is a point where it is too much but I love noise. Silence just creeps me out and I don't like it.
Did you know I broke my foot? I broke my foot when I jumped off a pogo stick on a hill and fractured my foot. I don't really think it ever healed correctly but what can I do about it now.
Did you know I broke the woman's squat record in High School? I broke the woman's squat record in high school with a weight of 230 lbs. I have the training to thank for that accomplishment. Coach Puloua was amazing and helped me get to where I was and helped me make the decision to do track.
Did you know I went to state for track? I threw shot put and had my own shot put to take with me. I threw for two years and it was a great two years of memories.
Did you know I was in a boating accident? I fell off the inner tube forward instead of backward and got held upside down and caught in the rope. I had a rope burn for weeks, and it hurt like a bitch but I knew papa was with me that day.
Did you know I believe in the Paranormal? Don't criticize me on this. I believe in the paranormal because I have seen things that are not right. Heard things that are not right, felt things that are not right and not explainable. I swear I have seen Papa in places that I shouldn't have been able to see him. I have a theory but if you want to know you will have to ask me.
Did you know that I love Llamas? I love them for some odd reason. Maybe it is because they are a weird animal and I am a weird person but I just like them.
Did you know I think I saw big foot? Don't criticize me for this either. I was camping with my family and I think I saw him in Washington...
Did you know I love to go camping? I don't go camping with a camper in a camping ground with bathrooms. I go camping in the middle of no where by a river with my tent and camping gear. And yes I find a tree to pee and stuff. Get over it.
Did you know I have seen the most amazing meteor shower ever? When we lived on the river there were no lights out there, and we could see the most amazing things ever.
Did you know we lost almost everything? Our house on the river flooded and I boated out at 5 in the morning and had to help my mom push logs and debris out of the way while my dad drove the small boat. I had to leave my dog behind until they could get him in the morning.
             - life isn't/wasn't easy so don't think I have had it just as smooth as a babies ass because you
               don't know.
Did you know I have felt terror? My cousin practically saved me from a psychopathic guy that I used to baby sit for a long time ago that is now in prison. My cousin saved me the day he snapped.
Did you know I love reading post secret? I love reading other peoples secrets and knowing that other people are going through rough patches and I know that when I did, I wasn't the only one.
Did you know Jake Gyllenhaal, Michael Fox and Josh Turner are my celebrity crushes? I just think they are all so damn hot. I love Austin but damn everyone has their celebrity crush.
Did you know Austin and I met online? Austin and I were introduced over the webcam on MSN Messenger when that was cool. And that is where everything flourished.
Did you know I love going to Plays? I love going to theater plays. They are fun to watch and they can be very entertaining. I love high school plays too.
Did you know I was in plays? I used to be in plays in elementary school. I have 5 parts in the Wizard of Oz, I was in god knows how many plays and I enjoyed every minute of it.
Did you know I LOVE Wizard of Oz? I love it so much I used to watch it all the time. I love the Tin Man, and Dorothy. That is what Austin and I are.
Did you know I Love nightmare before Christmas? I love that movie too!! I have the songs on my ipod and I love it. Austin and I are Jack and Sally. That is just how it is.
Did you know I secretly love the smell of pickled onions and garlic mixed together? It sounds disgusting but Papa used to eat them and then want me to sit with him and he would smell of onions and garlic. And when I moved into on campus apartments the hall smelt like that and It was like Papa was with me.
Did you know I love old fashion hard candy? Papa and I would secretly eat them before lunch or dinner and Nana would get so mad.
Did you know I was the only great grandchild to never get Sand on the outside of the sandbox at Nana and Papa's? I loved playing in that sand box and I never got the sand out, and even if I got a little bit out on accident I would clean it up myself.
Did you know I stole sand? Taking sand was illegal, but Papa and I would go down Cannon Drive and snatch some for the sandbox.
Did you know I love people for who they are? I love people for who they are not what they look like, or what they have. It is a rarity. And it makes me sick when people hate someone just because of what they look like.

These things are just some of the things I swear people don't know about me. And I know this because of the assumptions they make. I wish people would just get to know someone instead of assume they know them like almost every one does. And I am guilty of it too so don't even begin to say I am a hypocrite, just don't even go there.

Thanks for reading this everyone. :)
Tschüs